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| "Tidal Pool", oil, by Brenda Ferguson |
I used to believe it was admirable
to sometimes be adamant – to be steadfast and unshakable in certain situations
– but over the course of the years, I have come to see a slight, or perhaps
enormous, mistake in my thinking. Actually, nothing
in this universe can ever be adamant,
because everything is in a state of non-stop transformation. No thing or person
can possibly be stubborn, because shifting and switching and sliding is a
constant fact of existence. When I’m believing I’m unchangeable and adamant,
I’m simply unaware of the steady stream of adjustments constantly taking place
in my life. When I’m stubbornly standing for some position in a discussion, the
cells in my body are being refreshed and replaced at speeds beyond measure.
While I’m feeling firm and resolute about some decision, about 400 billion
different chemical reactions are occurring in my body. I change faster than the
fastest-flowing stream, faster than flames shift and flicker in the fireplace.
How can I possibly be as adamant as a stone, when even stones are steadily
transforming and falling away into dust and sand? My life is as loose and
unfastened as this universe, always confidently modifying, always effortlessly refining.
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